tracy's a super bitch

"amber, i think you're a really cute, nice girl, and i understand that there are times when it's hard not to focus all of your attention on eating and the way you look. but i just think you really need to think about what pictures you post. i understand the album you have is for awareness, but seeing that you are facebook friends with people like whit and betsy, they both are in really fragile states in their recovery. seeing pictures like that aren't helpful for people like them, and to have it so accessable is really risky. i have to admit that looking at them myself brought back bad memories, and i'm really trying hard to stay away from that. i know it's our own choice to look at your pics, but they're plastered on out home page as we sign in. i'm all for you being in groups that help you express yourself, but seriously, i know for one i'm trying to get away from that shit. and it's even hard for me not to want to look. maybe you could make them private or something because i know i don't want to see them. i hope i'm not acting like a bitch, but if that's what it takes, i guess i'd rather come across as one. i hope you can find something to hold on to, because fishing for compliments is only going to make things worse. you should treat yourself better, because you'll find the friends that come treat you better too. thanks for hearing my side. you really are awesome. maybe someday you'll listen to that.

tracy"

so that would be what i wrote to amber drake. sorry to use your name whit, i was just trying to make a point, seeing you were really the only person on her friends list that i knew. so... how much of a freaking bitch am i? i'm sorry, but any girl that posts pictures of herself partially naked and then has to make a point of telling everyone she's "fat" and then fish for the freaking compliments like, you're crazy! you're so skinny! it's just fucking annoying.

anyway, i went on a sorta-not-really date last night. i went out for coffee with my friend, and then we invited justin, a guy from temple that asked for my number last friday. holy shit, the guy smells so good. he asked me to go with him to his cousin's restaurant in L.A. tonight. I really want to go, but I have a class at the temple i really wanted to go to. and if i don't go, i don't get my special jew certificate! poop. well, i'm going to meet with rabbi moskowitz in like an hour, so i don't know. whatev. but i swear, i'd have justin's babies. definately. he's moving to new zealand in like a week though, but hell, i've always wanted to go! whatev. no commitment right? ha. anyway, i'm cold and i really just wanted to show you how much of a bitch i really am. i love you guys.