i pretty much feel like i haven't slept in forever, but that's not true. i'm just becoming a freaking grandma and need to take naps in the middle of the day. whatev. i'm down. i figured i'd do a quick post for the only two people that look at this, and then i'll take a shower and a nap before my judaism class tonight.
so, a little update on the nicho sitch. we've been texting all week, and i told him that after service on friday i'll go out with him for coffee. usually on fridays i go to school with my friend judy to volunteer at her school for the autism class she teaches. they're the cutest kids ever. anyway, i have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn. and usually i spend the night at her house thursdays so i can just wake up and leave, but i still have to wake up by 6:15am. and if you know me, you know that's not a tracy thing, so i must REALLY love those kids if i get up that early on my day off. anyway... if i have to get up that early, it's going to be really hard to motivate myself to stay out late, even if it is with a ridiculously sexy boy. so do you think i should bail on judy and sleep in? even though i love helping out the kids? or should i just suck it up? nicho has to be at work by 6am every day so he wakes up at 4am. that's worse, so maybe i should shut up and just sleep in on saturday. whatever.
i need to visit utah. and you know what? lately i've had the urge to write becky and alice letters telling them i'm doing well... the one for alice is because i really liked her and i want her to know that i kicked it into gear, and the one for becky is because i sort of feel pissed about the way she left things making me feel like a bitch. i know i should probably just leave the whole thing alone, but i want her to know even though she didn't think i'd be able to get better without a therapist and all that shit, i did it, without her help. it's really immature. well, my reasoning is. maybe i'll write the letter for beck and just not send it. like write it in my journal and just get it out and then that's it. because really, i shouldn't care what she thinks about me. poop.
so yeah. i've been doing pretty well. despite the fact that since we're working on vital signs at school and we have a skills test next week, so i have to get weighed or else i don't get points. i'm seriously mostly alright with my weight and how i look and feel. which is amazing because i was so messed up in my head when i came back home, not wanting to get better and shit. and i know my weight... yes i still own a scale, but i don't have the feeling that i need to use it. i do sometimes but not very often. but to have some one else see my weight on an uncalibrated scale isn't my idea of a necessity to become an MA. whatev. i told my partner that i'm going to get on the scale backwards. she knows about my issues. ha ha. she use to have them too. so it's cool to have some one out here to talk to. i just think my teacher is a dumbass. but yeah, i'm mostly comfortable with myself. which i never thought would happen. so i'm pretty proud of myself. boo yeah bitches!!
anyway, i'm out. it's NAP TIME!
love you whores.
4 comments:
Becky always makes me feel like a bitch too. But you probably shouldn't get me on the subject of CFC right now because I'm really raw toward them and am trying to control my carnal desire to burn down the building. I'm proud of you Trace for being able to get your butt into gear all on your own. It's not easy - I know.
cheeyeah for coffee with nicho! :) just tell judy that your bff said you need your beauty sleep so that you are totally rip roaring to go on this hot coffee date! she'll totally understand. if not, then she's just lame i guess! haha yeah cfc... i don't know what to say. write to alice cuz she'd love to hear from you, and if you write to becky, i'm hoping it contains enough slamming material that it would be considered inappropriate to send! ;) so you're gonna kill me, but i'm digging the new britney cd and i think you should give it a lil listen. i know this will never actually happen, but i just needed to throw it out there! haha love you silly!
HOW DID IT GO??? details por favor!
I think you should write and send both letters. The center is falling apart at the seams and they need to know that the people they kick out the door can and will eventually get better with or without them. Oh man, they are such a bunch of bitches....I'm with Brie...I am having to really fight back the urges to blow the place up. Love you!
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