not so happily happy

I'm not really sure why, but I'm sort of in a sad mood. I went to temple this morning because I worked last night and obviously couldn't go then. But I've been thinking of Justin non stop. And I know I'm stupid and crazy or whatever, but I miss him. NO, I haven't heard from him, but to his defense, I'm sure he's just too sad to contact me. He's in love. I'm sure of it.

On a not really happier, but different note, I smell like weed right now because my brother is out back smoking and I'm upstairs in the computer room and the window is wide open. I don't care what people say, it does NOT smell good.

So, for some unknown reason, my dad doesn't want me to have a car. That's not really what he says, but I'm convinced that's what he means to say. So lucky me, I get to walk 2 miles to work, in about 45 minutes. Let's be honest, I don't really mind it, because I don't exactly mind exerting energy and potentially losing weight or gaining muscle or whatever you want to call it, but I really just don't want to go to work. Working Friday, Saturday and Sunday night isn't exactly my idea of a chill weekend, but money is money. And when you don't have any, you'll waist your weekend easily for some nice cash. Although, it's not like I had anything to do anyway.

Is it weird that I'm slightly jealous that my dog is downstairs with my stinky brother instead of up here with me?

I've come to the conclusion that perhaps I have a lot going on in my head. I had another dream about Justin. I swear I don't stalk him. I even totally ignored the urge to drive by his house this morning. I mean, yes, he isn't there, but his truck is. And I have nice memories of that truck. Anyway, so see, I'm not that crazy. But in my dream, he told me he checks his phone every day to see if I called. I know this isn't true because t mobile doesn't work in New Zealand, and I've checked. It's off.

Recent events have caused me to once again question my worth. I don't mean to be all self-pittyish, but it's just ironic how it's widely known that people aren't perfect, and mistakes are inevitable. But I guess I'm just an aweful waist of woman.

I think it's funny that I just called myself a woman.

Maybe I should run to work.

I have to go potty.

That felt good. :D

I like to imagine it snowing in Utah right now, while it's fabulously warm out. It makes me feel like I have an advantage over you Utes.

HA! I win. Maggie just came upstairs because she realized boys are stinky.

Well, I guess I should stop and get ready for work. Poop.

finally

It's been way too long since I've done a new post. While a lot has been happening, there's really nothing to say. Although I did give blood for the first time. I've always wanted to donate blood, but unfortunately, being underweight isn't really something they look for in a donor. But luckily, that's not the case anymore. So yay for gaining weight. I potentially saved three lives with one pint of my precious blood. And I must say I'm quite proud of my beautiful veins. I filled my bag in 5 minutes! booyah! There was an annoying guy there giving blood and his took over 20 minutes. I knew all those years of getting labs taken would pay off. My veins are use to giving.

I spent the night at my dad's house for the first time since I actually left for Utah. The only reason he invited me was because Lynn was out of town, but still, it was nice to be with my dad. I rented the Notebook for him. For some reason her really wanted to see it, but how am I to disagree, it's definately worth my last free rental for the week. My dad usually cries like a baby to country songs, so movies are a freaking awesome sight. He's cute, but I usually laugh at him. Well, for some really weird reason, by the end I was freaking balling. I don't cry at movies. And all of a sudden I'm freaking sobbing. I guess I felt bad about all the time I haven't spent with my dad. My dad is simple and he pisses me off, but he's trying as hard as he can to just be. You know what I mean? I don't know, maybe I'm just a bitch. Ok, let's be honest. I AM a bitch, but still. I guess I miss the days when life was simple. I just miss my daddy I guess.

Oh and just so you know, last Sunday was my two year anniversary from the day I left for CFC. Yay for recovery.